... that you can ride between the cars during a traffic jam. This saved me so much time this morning. Too bad that the entire highway was closed off for half an hour. 

[hearsay]
Car drove on the #a27 highway, apparently already on fire. Due to road construction, there is no escape lane here so the guess is that the driver swirved suddenly to the left and parked it in the guardrail. Noone was injured in this accident.
[/hearsay]

Drive safely everyone, keep an eye out for weird things that happen on the road. And thank you officer for alerting me for possible oil slicks! :)

NOTE: This article is only valid for tubeless tyres!

The Emergency Roadside Motorcycle Tyre Leak Fixing Set, or ERMTLFS is a very useful thing to have if you drove over a nail in the road. The ERMTLFS... okay, let's call it Patches. Not like the cat please, I don't want you to mend cats with this kit.

So. Patches is a handy tool. I bought it recently because I seem to have the habit of riding over pointy things. I could have bought it in China, but I wanted to ride -now- because the weather was really nice and the other bike is still drinking fuel like there is no tomorrow.

So what you need here is Patches, a pointy screwdriver (or your giant Crocodile Dundee bowie knife), some needle-nose pliers (or again, some other pointygrabby thing you have laying around) and the idea that this is going to be an easy job to do! Because it is not. Well, compared to the manual that says do this and that, the job takes a bit more effort than that. If I can give you one tip, park in the shadow.

Step 1. Locate the nail or other pointy bit.

Put your bike on the midstand and slowly rotate your wheel while wiping off the dirt with your glove. Don't do it with bare hands. You do not want to have a grossly infected wound on the rest of your trip.

Boom, there it is. This little bugger crippled your precious bike. Do get angry now and get it out of your system before proceeding because you will need to focus and be careful.

Step 2. Extracting the pointy bit

Extract the pointy bit as careful as you can and LOOK how it is sitting in the tyre. Does it go straight in? Does it go in sideways? REMEMBER the direction of the pointy bit. Now, dispose of the pointy bit. Not by tossing it in the street but either by keeping it as a memento or throwing it in a drain or litterbin.

If you still have some pressure in your tyre, go make funny noises. You know you want to.

Step 3. Widening the hole.

Sorry, I could not type that without a little giggle. Anyway.

If you are travelling with another person, so ask him of her kindly to apply the brakes on the affected wheel. If you are alone, put your bike on the side stand, making sure the hole is properly reachable.

In order for the path to fit, you need to roughen up and widen up the hole with the hand "drill". At this point is is important to remember in wihch direction the pointy bit sat in your tyre. Folow that same direction and screw in the drill. When it is in, pull it out. Repeat this step until you don't feel much resistance any more. This is the indication that the hole is wide enough.

Step 4. Stringing the patch through the needle tool.

Carefully take one of the patches out of the packaging. This will take some effort as it is pretty sticky stuff. When you managed to take it out, roll one half of the "string" through your fingers and stick it through the needle. This too will not go easily, but by rolling it a bit through your fingers, things should go a bit smoother.

Next, apply the solution onto the patch, making sure everything is covered. Basically everything will be spread out by inserting it, but better be sure, there will be no second chance.

Step 5. Working the patch into the hole

[No picture here because my hands were covered in sticky patch stuff]

This will take some force. But keep working it in until a centimeter of half an inch sticks out. Now carefully retract the needle tool and let it sit for about 10 minutes. The solution needs to cure while you can quietly think about whether to go to a motorbike shop afterwards to change the tyre of just carry on and see what the road brings you.

Once the patch is cured, inflate the tyre. You miht not have enough air pressure in the small canisters so I strongly reccomend you to fill up at the next possible location. This of course does not apply to you who travel with their own air pump. You fancypants.

Step 6. Clipping or cutting off the remains

This is easily done with a pair of side cutters or a good opportunity to make a sticky mess out of your knife. There will be a kindof smudge where two ends stick out. Cut off the two ends and leave the smudge on the tyre. I'm sure this helps keeing things patched.

There you go. All done and you're ready to go. I would recommend not exceeding 100km/h or 60mph. It's basically a glued plug you're now riding on and I have no idea how long it lasts. This patch i did here holds remarkably well.

FINAL TIP!

Do check for cats under your bike.

I just discovered yet another photo library containing a whopping 233432 photos. Challenge accepted and I will dig through this and hunt for Hondas! They're all situated here in The Netherlands and belong to the HBIC.

Enjoy!

Plaats: Uden
Beschrijving: Politie Uden krijgt nieuwe motoren.
Datering: 18-02-1976
Fotograaf: Verhoeff, Jan
Auteursrechthouder: Brabants Dagblad
Identificatienummer: 1685-040058
Direct link to the photo

It took two new tyres, a set of brake pads and a brake caliper overhaul to get this bike road safe. Total damage was around 300 euro. Still not too bad, this was basically the amount i haggled off the sales price of this bike, but hm. Today I will test the system and check it thoroughly before handing it over to a dear friend who will ride it. So, if I failed to do the work right, it was nice knowing you all! But i'm sure all is well. Cuz i'm gooooood.

Oh except for my camera. So here are two super-duper pictures in glorious 90's quality! :D

It's a bit of a fiddly job to get those pistons back in, but with the tips of Ron, the guy with the biggest smile at the carpart shop, everthing slipped in nice and tight. Yes. Aaaanyway.

Job done, now to hunt for my front wheel that is in the shop that suddenly seemed to have dropped from the surface of the earth.